Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
