Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
