Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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