well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
