Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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