Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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