My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize