He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
