***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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