there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
