hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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