barbara walters just said penis...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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