omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
