omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
