Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
