The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
