i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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