I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
