My room smells like vodka and shame
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
