dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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