Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
