I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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