Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
