You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
