it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
