So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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