Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
