pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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