During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize