your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
