I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
