Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
