doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
accomplished twins. life is a go
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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