he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
