I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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