he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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