but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
