I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
