is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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