Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
