Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
