He had one of those small greek statue penises
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
