You just made me feel so damn special
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
