My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
