Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
