Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
