Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
