Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
