The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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