I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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