I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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