my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
