I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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