2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
