if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
