She even gives head with a lisp.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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