Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
