God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
