I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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