Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
