I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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