im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just forgot I was standing up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
