I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
