you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
